Comfort YXZone 20082008-11-04T21:12:04+00:00302008bUTCTue, 04 Nov 2008 21:12:04 +0000 11, 2008

DEATH…

There is never an easy way to talk abou DEATHs & there is nutin easy bout DEATHs. If somebody dies, everyone close to that special someone feels distraught, bewildered, angry, frightened, confused, gulity, and sad. And that’s what im feelin rite now. Few months ago, my uncle(dad’s bro) died cos o the Big C-CANCER! All there is, was the negative feelings surroundin me & family when we heard the news. Tru the time, it has put a strain on the whole family: who’s goin wit him in the hosp, whos payin, whos doin what and such. It was hard hard nuf for me, my family  & friends but I can only imagine, how hard or even worse it was for my dear uncle. He was aven probs whether he can stil work to pay all the bills, the pain he was aven and all that. Cancer didn rely hit em til he saw himself getttin weaker by the day, his skin tone/colour was already changin,-almost turnin black. him losin weight & all the signs of Cancer cept  maybe for hlosin his hair. It hitted him big time when he has gotton so weak, due to all the strong tablets he was takin, that he actually cudn work no longer and was bed bound for a few days. So then, me Aunt, who is a doctor, decided to stop the meds and he got better in a natural way, I must say. The meds and chemo were too strong for his body to take in, that he actually got better, to the point that he started travellin with friends & makin the most o his life. We were all so happy bout the changes that was happenin.  But few months later, June 15, 2008, he passed away.  His body jus cudn take it anymore. We had to let him go Good thing is that we had the chance to see him for the last chance…..

As we wer tryna move on from wha happend, a few months later, Sept 11, 2008 to be exact, we got the biggest shock of our lives. I just woke up & me dad, who was workin nights, got woken up with the big saddd shockin news. My another aunt, from the same side o the fam(stil dad’s sis) died unexpectedly. =( I jus cudn get over it. It was only me an me da at home when we got the news. There was the biggest silence between me an me da which felt like hours o silence. I was so shocked that I actually av been askin him non sense q’s lik, is it April fools? they musta sent the wrong message, or it musta been from the wrong person. I was in so much denial to wha i jus heard, I had to check & read the mesg for lika million times. We rang back home & unfo twas actually TRUE =(…..I jus cudn understand how it all happend, why it all hapend so quick, not even a warning sign or netin… But now, we kinda had to patch tru the old memories, and:

• she was so nice to us the last time we saw her ( for me uncles funeral). she cooked dinner, luncg and even wakes up at 5 in the morn jus to cook, clean, do shoppin & everytin for us.
• she cukd every meal ya can ask for while we wer there
• she has gotten so close to us
• i got me braces & she made the best effort to feed me durin those first few days of aven the braces
• me sis got sick, she nevr left er side, took care o her all day & nite

It was like yesterday, she was beside me, takin care o me and me sibs & now she’s gone, not jus today, 2mora but forever. Its been two months & i stil aven get over it. Im stil indenial, It tink she is only at home busy workin or sumtin that why I haven seen her or even talked to her. I justcant accept it! Its been two months & there is not a night i never dreamt of thought bout her before and durin sleep. it so weird. I was nevr affected this bad with my uncles death but this time it has hit me real hard in the head cos:

• she was like me 2nd ma
• every xmas, shed get us sumtin, wen wer young & stil in Phili, we cudn afford to buy netin so she neevr missed xmas & she’dbring us for clothes fud shoppin n every kind o shoppin ya can tink o
• if wer sick, she was always around
• her & me dad are pretty close
• she’snot perfect but she showed she luvd us & that wer actually specialin eveyr way that she can
• and i jus luv her so much

We all cudn go home for her funeral cos jus wasn wise to spend aloada money for a a week o two, so i just made a letter & me dad gave it to her. But im defo regrettin that we didn see her for the last time. I hope she understands why we cudn all go home..

A eulogy for my Aunt Osie:

This is for you TITA OSIE!

And Jesus said to her, I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.
-Bible, John 11:25-26

Life is a journey and departure from this world is one of the paths along that journey.

At some point in time of our life, loss is something we will all have to deal with. Whether it’s a loss of a family, a very special friend… Loss to death… loss to circumstance… recently loss… or over time – it doesn’t get any worse than losing someone you really care about. Today, we had, our ever dearest Tita OSIE, a family to most of us, a very special friend, or someone we just meet in the streets every now and then.

Death would come into our lives and take the person most important to us – and the worse things is we couldn’t do anything but watch… and cry. We would never again experience the sound of our Tita Osie’s laughter… the beauty of her smile… the warmth of her embrace… to hug her and to know once again the feeling of her love… the remembrance to those who are lucky enough to have her as a special someone in their lives to appreciate what they have and communicate their love and gratitude each day.. We will all miss her, tremendously. She has always been a very good person at heart, and even if she had her share of human frailties (who among us doesn’t?), she was kind, and fun, and full of life, and loving, and talkative, and a wonderful person to count among your family- a proper ATE kumbaga. She’s always been a great figure throughout my and everyone’s childhood and adolescence in the family — I’ll always remember her for her energy to be able to do almost everything-from pag papatabas niya ng likod bahay, arranging all the furnitures in the house, gardening and a lot more, for being so fun, for being someone I could always talk to, for being such a good person, for spoiling us all the time with all her pamaskos to all her pamangkins and most especially for just being her. Really … I’ve rarely known someone as good at heart as her, and I’ll miss the love she gave me and the rest of the family. The little consolation I can find is that, at the end of her life, I was able to spend time with her again as much as I can though I wish it was longer.

There is no pain like the pain of losing someone like you. Your heart aches… your interest in the future dissipates… and life doesn’t seem to matter any more… You have been gone and words can never express the loss we all feel right now.

You were taken from us so suddenly and unexpectedly, and this hurts us in the worse way possible, it just didn’t seem fair at all that we didn’t have the options to say how much we love you and give you a loving goodbye hug. There’s not a day that goes by that your name is not on our lips and tears are falling down our faces- with our hearts all shattered into million pieces.

Now I know that Death is the greatest teacher in the world…as without it how do we appreciate life? The pain will never stop. The longing will never cease. But, our love for you goes on and so does life. And with that, my final words were spoken to her. And it was palpable what we were doing at that moment, saying our final goodbyes.

My only comfort at this time is knowing that you are with Jesus… and I thank God for taking care of you. And whether we were thoughtful enough to tell you how much you meant to us while we had the opportunity or not, it seems there is always something else we should have said.

Our loss reminded me that you never know how much time you have with someone you love … and that you should cherish that time, and make the most of it, and always, always show your love for that person, as much as possible.

Life will never ever be the same again without you…

Goodbye our dearest Tita Osie, we will surely miss you!! We love you!!

Time to Say Goodbye

By Michael Tate

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You lay in my lap with your amber eyes looking up at me. We both
knew this day would come. As I run my hands through your coat,
you let out a low sigh.

Don’t cry, don’t ask why, it’s time to say goodbye.

You’ve been my best friend, the one who has seen it all with me.
You’ve been there through the good and the bad. You were there
to stand with me when I felt tall, and there to comfort me when I
felt small.

Don’t cry, don’t ask why, it’s time to say goodbye.

I tell you I love you and you whine a low whine. We knew it would
come and we wouldn’t know the time. Forever is an illusion we
create to avoid the pain. It’s a lie we tell ourselves to keep
ourselves sane.

Don’t cry, don’t ask why, it’s time to say goodbye.

You’ve guided me through some rough times in my life. You’ve
believed in me when nobody else would. You’ve kept me sane and
out of harm’s way. You couldn’t talk words but you had lots to say.

Don’t cry, don’t ask why, it’s time to say goodbye.

I guess they say that all good things must come to an end. You’ve
truly been this man’s best friend.

Don’t cry, don’t ask why, it’s time to say goodbye.

You feel my pain and hurt my hurt. As I sob and cry, you look up
at me and whine with a paw on my thigh. You do know that the time
has come and your body is telling you why.

Don’t cry, don’t ask why, it’s time to say goodbye.

Your heart aches. We know this isn’t for fake. They say that a
heart is a big place. I guess that makes this easier to face.

Don’t cry, don’t ask why, it’s time to say goodbye.

As we sit together and face this gloom, we both know that our
hearts are going to have to make room for another. As I sob and I
cry, oh why, oh why, oh why, God why? you lay your head on my
thigh as if to say…

Don’t cry, don’t ask why, it’s time to say goodbye.

With the wagging of your tail and many a tear in my eye, I know
you’d work for me ’til the day you die. To know you and make you
feel pain would drive me insane. I always heard that you’ve got to
love somebody enough to set them free. This isn’t the first time
this pain has happened to me.

Don’t cry, don’t ask why, it’s time to say goodbye.

I know you’ll be a star in your new home. It’s comforting to know
that neither of us will really ever be alone. We carry each other’s
spirit and memories into eternity. We’ll meet again someday in the
here after and there will be smiles and laughter.

Don’t cry, don’t ask why, it’s time to say goodbye.

Goodbye isn’t forever; it’s a temporary thing. Knowing you’ll be
happy and not in so much pain makes my heart sings.

Don’t cry, don’t ask why, it’s time to say goodbye.